How to Cultivate Self-Trust in Business and Beyond.

My Friends,

Today's topic is one that is very, very close to my heart. A dear friend asked me a few days ago to share with her what I'm most keenly feeling/navigating/traversing at this time in my life (I suspect she has a 40th birthday pressie in mind 😛) and I immediately answered “cultivating self trust”. 

Cultivation - of anything - is an ongoing process involving assessment, adjustment and refinement. Working on self trust is no different, you have to be in conscious, active relationship with the unfolding of it across your whole life, micro and macro.

The last 6 months have offered me countless opportunities to cultivate self trust. I've made some extremely difficult decisions, both business related and personal, that required meticulous examination of my values and beliefs and whether those were in alignment with the people, places and pursuits that make up my life.

I know that Life is organising a series of interconnected ‘lessons’ for me at this time, designed to help me cultivate new levels of self trust, confidence and belief. One of these is around making challenging choices that require ongoing commitment (very different to short term decisions that pay swift dividends). 

I'd like to share the top 3 that are unfolding in my life as we speak:

Jumping off the career cliff

In October 2022, I walked away from a 6 figure income stream (Instagram sourced) because the ecology of it felt increasingly toxic. Was this an easy decision? Hell no. It took about a year of continuous inner work to feel ready to step away and distil my business back down to its core essence, trusting that to propagate it into new terrain would be a successful move. 

I had no ‘expanders’ (i.e. people who have achieved the exact thing you want to achieve, therefore providing your brain with proof that it's possible) and no leads. I just jumped off the cliff. But as soon as I did, I got busy taking aligned action. I tuned into my Soul, asked for specific guidance and began making phone calls and sending emails to the people my Soul guided me to.

I was methodical, courageous, willing and trusting. The result is an increased level of self trust, because I've become an expander to myself! I stayed true to my values, prioritised them over my income and committed to disciplined action to ensure the process was as successful as it could be.

Stepping away from a friendship that was no longer aligned

Last Autumn, I walked away from a cherished friendship because of a sudden, drastic incompatibility of values. Was this an easy decision? Absolutely not. It was - and continues to be - one of the most painful and confusing losses I've ever experienced. 

Some people regularly prune their friendship groups, but I've always enjoyed a diverse range of pals. Until now, there hasn't been a single friend who I've parted ways with because of a clash in values. But at this point in my life, I know the difference in my body between an emotionally charged response (to her challenging views) and the rooted truth of deeply held conviction (that whatever has gripped her is a wider energy that I want nothing to do with). 

When I realised that our values were likely to be irreversibly and permanently different, I knew I wouldn't be able to continue nurturing the friendship. 

I chose to listen to the steady voice of my whole self, rather than succumb to the fearful protestations of my fractured self. It's been sorrowful, but that's how Soul works, sometimes.

Turning away from the ‘transformation industry’ at large, including like-minded contemporaries and communities

In January 2022, I committed to bringing a body of Soul-sourced work into form. I knew that in order to do this, I'd need to tune into the voice of my Soul in a way that I'd never done before. 

As someone who's spent the last 8 years plugged into vast networks of people building the same business model as me (first network marketing, then online business coaching) I am highly aware of the perils of being too immersed into the ‘soup of similar’.

Following the voice of your Soul is an active commitment. It means staying hyper aware of the direction your Soul wants to grow and making sure that the growth trajectory is in harmony with the rest of your life. 

For me, this meant consciously tuning out what everyone else was doing within the online transformation industry and tuning into my own creative energy. I had to become sensitive enough to actually feel it within my own body, let alone deploy it; an impossibility when you're energetically immersed in a cloud of online noise.

This is both a closed-eye practise and an open-eyed appraisal of where and how I was being infiltrated/diluted by external stuff. This has meant unsubscribing and stepping away from several (cherished and less cherished) communities, for the sake of creating sacred space inside my head.

Note: there may come a time when I can re-enter the online community and remain sovereign within it. But right now, at this crucial point in my self-trust journey, I cannot.

So. How have these decisions played out? What are the consequences of my choices in real terms? 

Well, if self trust were a visual pattern, mine has become infinitely more developed, magical and multi-faceted. 

Spiritually I am more connected to my Soul, my purpose and my place within the ecosystem of Life. I know who I am and trust in my path.

Physically I am more resilient, my nervous system is calmer, I'm attuned to my body like never before. I trust everything it tells me.

Emotionally I feel far more stable than I ever have before. This is because I've learned to distinguish between my own emotions and others' emotions. Consequently, I'm able to give mine the space they need to bloom, move and resolve as required. 

Energetically I'm as aware of my energy body as I am of my physical body. I spend equal amounts of time maintaining the health of both. This has resulted in a heightened sensitivity to subtle energy and the ability to actively shape my life, molecule by molecule.  

Pathways have emerged that were not in alignment with where/who I was 6 months ago. I've had the joy of choosing which ones to explore. Although I don't fully know what lies around the corner, my body feels calm, my heart is willing and my mind is sharp. Life is resourcing me and surprising me with tangible gifts at every turn! 

I feel equipped and resilient. 

What more could one ask for in life?